HR Officers and Engineers

The First …

Eleven people were dangling below a helicopter on a rope. There were ten HR people and one engineer. Since the rope was not strong enough to hold all the eleven, they decided that one of them had to let go to save all the others.

They could not decide who should be the volunteer. Finally the engineer said he would let go of the rope since engineers are used to do everything for the company. They forsake their family, don’t claim all of their expenses and do a lot of overtime without getting anything in return.

When he finished his moving speech all the HR people began to clap…

Moral: Never underestimate the powers of the engineer.

The second …

A group of engineers and a group of HR people take a train to a conference. Each HR person holds a ticket. But the entire group of engineers has bought only one ticket for a single passenger. The HR people are just shaking their heads and are secretly pleased that the arrogant engineers will finally get what they deserve.

Suddenly one of the engineers calls out: “The conductor is coming!”. At once, all the engineers jump up and squeeze into one of the toilets. The conductor checks the tickets of the HR people. When he notices that the toilet is occupied he knocks on the door and says: “Ticket, please!” One of the engineers slides the single ticket under the doors and the conductor continues merrily on his round.

For the return trip the HR people decide to use the same trick. They buy only one ticket for the entire group but they are baffled as they realize that the engineers didn’t buy any tickets at all. After a while one of the engineers announces again: “The conductor is coming!” Immediately all the HR people race to a toilet and lock themselves in.

All the engineers leisurely walk to the other toilet. Before the last engineer enters the toilet, he knocks on the toilet occupied by the HR people and says: “Ticket, please!”

And the moral of the story? HR people like to use the methods of the engineers, but they don’t really understand them.

The third …

Once upon a time three HR people were walking through the woods and suddenly they were standing in front of a huge, wild river. But they desperately had to get to the other side. But how, with such a raging torrent? The first HR guy knelt down and prayed to the Lord: “Lord, please give me the strength to cross this river! “

*pppppfffffffuuuuffffffff*
The Lord gave him long arms and strong legs. Now he could swim across the river. It took him about two hours and he almost drowned several times. BUT: he was successful!

The second HR guy, who observed this, prayed to the Lord and said: “Lord, please give me the strength AND the necessary tools to cross this river!”

*pppppfffffffuuuuffffffff*
The Lord gave him a tub and he managed to cross the river despite the fact that the tub almost capsized a couple of times.

The third HR man who observed all this kneeled down and prayed: “Lord, please give me the strength, the means and the intelligence to cross this river!”

*pppppfffffffuuuuffffffff*
The Lord converted the HR man into an engineer. He took a quick glance on the map, walked a few meters upstream and crossed the bridge.

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